Am I Helping or harming my Children?

When does helping our Children become harmful?


The recent college admissions scandal where privileged parents paid to get their children into prestigious universities has us thinking, “When does helping our children become harmful?”

As a parent, we always want to help our children by providing them with the best. But the big question is when does this “help” turn harmful for our kids? There are 3 areas we need to consider when helping our children. If we find that any of these areas are being compromised in our offer of “help” to them, we just may be doing more harm than good. These 3 areas are:

  • Critical Thinking - the ability to look at a problem and formulate the steps, plans or processes necessary to solve that problem. This very important life skill is necessary for our children to learn. Which means, we as their parents must allow them to exercise that muscle for it to strengthen and grow. There will likely be some bumps in the road and a few mistakes. But all of it great learning ground. 
  • Self Sufficiency- being able to perform basic tasks/needs for oneself. Our children should have the basic skills of being able to do their own laundry, cook a basic meal and clean the house before leaving home. Continuing to do these tasks for our children up until the moment they leave, may put them at a disadvantage when arriving on a college campus.
  • Compassion for Others - teaching our children about compassion and empathy is something that is often caught, not only taught. The willingness to care for others and the needs of others is a life skill that when exercised, allows our children to stand out from the rest. Our society has become so “me” focused, that an individual that puts others first and has care and concern for them always gets noticed. 


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